


please don't see just a boy caught up in dreams and fantasies

by TheGodWith5Yen



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: Adopted Children, Adoption, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Career Change, Developing Relationship, Dick Grayson is Batman, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Dick Grayson is Robin, F/M, Family, Father-Daughter Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Gen, Growing Up, Humor, Nurse Dick Grayson, Romani Dick Grayson, Young Dick Grayson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 06:55:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18615454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGodWith5Yen/pseuds/TheGodWith5Yen
Summary: As Dick- dressed as Robin, in his bright green pants and red long sleeves that still made him shiver a little in the Gotham nights chilly air- walked next to a pretty older woman (maybe in her twenties? Dick wasn’t good at telling ages, he was pretty sure Bruce was forty, but when he had asked, Bruce had laughed and said he was twenty-eight), he could see Batman following along in the edges of the shadows up above them.“Have you seen the new Spongebob Squarepants episode?” Dick asked as he smoothly turned himself around so he was walking backwards, watching the as woman clutched her jacket close to her chest. It began to sprinkle slightly. The wet air caused his hair to stick to his forehead.(Or- following Dick along throughout the years as he grows and changes; as he learns and becomes the man he is)





	please don't see just a boy caught up in dreams and fantasies

**Author's Note:**

> Wow! I did not mean to write 10k of this but! Here it is! It's been fun, I had a nice time with it, so I hope you all will as well 
> 
> Title is from 'Lost Stars' from the movie Begin Again, there are two versions, one sung by Adam Levine and another by Keira Knightley.

**1999**

Being Robin was a dream come true- it couldn’t erase the past, no matter how much he would beg Allah to do so, to rewrite what had happened to his parents (but, oh, he loved Bruce, he loved all he did for him and he loved Alfred so, so, so much, they were both great people who made Dick feel so safe), but it was a next step in this adventurous life that his parents had always wished for him to have. He missed them everyday, wondered how they would think of his foster father, who dressed up in black and had sparse smiles, who would let him climb on his shoulders to stick bows in his hair or to grab a kitten stuck up high in a tree.

As Dick- dressed as Robin, in his bright green pants and red long sleeves that still made him shiver a little in the Gotham nights chilly air- walked next to a pretty older woman (maybe in her twenties? Dick wasn’t good at telling ages, he was pretty sure Bruce was forty, but when he had asked, Bruce had laughed and said he was twenty-eight), he could see Batman following along in the edges of the shadows up above them. 

“Have you seen the new Spongebob Squarepants episode?” Dick asked as he smoothly turned himself around so he was walking backwards, watching the as woman clutched her jacket close to her chest. It began to sprinkle slightly. The wet air caused his hair to stick to his forehead. 

The woman pursed her lips in thought. “I- um. I actually might have. My nephew he’s- well, I think he’s about your age, I am not going to assume.”

“I’m twenty-three. Obviously.” Dick countered with a wide grin as he tripped a little over his feet. The woman laughed and reached out to help keep him steady. 

“Come on Boy Wonder, don’t want you to hurt yourself. Or get a cold, here, stay close with me.” She held out a side of her jacket, letting him squeeze in at her side, trying their best to keep them both as dry as possible as they walked along, Dick describing what he liked about the newest Spongebob episode. “The episode is kind of a parody of Poe’s Tell-Tale Heart. You ever heard of it?” When Dick shook his head, the woman nodded her own. “Probably for the best, it’s kind of morbid and dark.”

“It’s about murder, right? My mom, she liked to read Edgar Allen Poe. Scary books, really. My dad always thought it was weird, she was such a happy person, so he would kind of talk loudly about it. I think B put her copies away somewhere, I will have to ask.” Dick walked up a small flight of stairs with her- they had reached her building. 

The woman gave him a small smile. “Yeah, it is. I think Batman is in the right to keep those books away, at least for a while. Maybe when you’re, say, twenty-seven, you can get those books of hers.” She unwrapped Dick from her jacket as she fumbled with her keys. Dick placed his hand on hers as he took the keys from her and calmly opened the door. SHe had settled down from the scare from earlier in the day, but Dick could see that it was slowly coming back as reality was coming back into focus. He understood that. “Hey, thanks so much for everything. Hope to see you around kid.” Her smile was kind. She brushed her light hair out of her face. Flyaways floated up with the wind. 

“Stay safe.” Dick called after her as she shut the door behind her. 

She was nothing like his mother- this woman was fair skinned, had light colored hair, thin lips, thin nose, thin waist. Yet, when she walked inside with one last smile and a hand lingering on his cheek, he couldn’t help but think of her, of her warm presence, of her last smile to him, her hand on his cheek as she whispered, “Ready my little robin?” in her deep voice that had filled him up with warmth at the time, but now, now, made him feel cold as the rain splattered onto the ground and the unsympathetic, distant sounds of the city continued on as they always did, as they had when his parents had-

A warm blanket wrapped around his shoulders. When Dick glanced up, his eyes blurry with tears, he realized who it was, what it was. Bruce’s cape was around his shoulders, his large, gloved hand coming to wipe at Dick’s wet cheeks. Wordlessly, Dick held up his arms, and Bruce gave him a smile as he picked him up under the armpits, held him close as he began to make his way back towards wherever he had left the batmobile (Dick, actually, had named it, before he had arrived Bruce just called it ‘the car’ which was lame and Batman could not be lame in any way).

“You did great today Dickey.” Bruce said as he wiped the last of the tears from his face. All Dick could see of the man's face was his large nostrils and his mouth and his stubbly cheeks and chin. “You’re a great hero. You know, you are my hero. Right up there with Alfred. You’re a strong boy. Strongest.”

The sniff Dick made was snotty and gross as he held back even more tears. “Dad?” He hadn't meant to say it, but he had, and it felt right. 

Bruce’s breathing hitched as he asked, “Yeah?”

Feeling worn out, and like he had exposed more than he should have- it had felt right, but who was to say that was what Bruce wanted?- Dick simply leaned forward and blew a raspberry on his cheek. A little bit of his spit and tears got on his foster fathers cheek, and Bruce whined and tried his best to wipe at it as Dick giggled and laughed, clutching at Bruce’s cape. 

****

Dick rested his head on his knees as he watched a snail drag itself about across the concrete. He could hear the other kids, talking fast and yelling and screaming and playing in ways that Dick didn’t quite feel up to at the moment. He did like playing, he liked the monkey bars the best, though the teachers always tried to scold him when they noticed him trying out tricks. At least Bruce was nice and had promised to get him a set up to help practice tricks. 

The snail left a small wet trail behind it as it moved. Dick wondered why he mostly ever seen them after it rained. Alfred would know. He knew so much. And he liked to garden. He even grew some of his own plants- tomatoes and chiles and squash and strawberries and lemons and pumpkins and carrots. Or, well the lemons grew on trees. As did the pomegranates. But, Alfred knew what he was doing. Bruce said he had been doing it since he was a little older than Dick. 

Dick pulled down on the long grey socks the school made him wear, bunching them up at his ankles. He hated the uniform. It was so plain. Nothing like any other uniform he had worn. He shuffled a little to be closer to the snail. He hoped it made it to its destination. 

It never did. When the bell rang loudly and the teachers called out to round up the kids, someone stepped right on it. Dick had stood at the end of the line as he tried his best to hide his tears, listening to the loud voices of a hundred kids reciting the pledge of allegiance, turned towards where the American flag was waving in the wind. Dick’s teacher didn’t even care anymore that he didn’t do it, she had long ago realized he never would, and she didn’t want to get in a fight with Bruce Wayne, so she simply ignored him. 

The dirt stained at his knees, but Alfred didn’t seem to mind since he too was getting dirty as he worked. He pulled out a particularly large squash and held it up for Dick to examine. “What should we make with this Dickey?” He asked as Dick settled himself in his lap. His wrinkled hands came down to rest on Dick’s knees, brushing back at clumps of dirt that had made its home there. “Any ideas my boy?”

“Soup!” Dick exclaimed happily. “B has been saying he thinks he’s going to get sick soon, so shouldn’t soup help?” His adoptive father had mentioned it last night, when he had turned in for the night earlier than usual. And again when Dick had seen him in the morning, as he had ate his pancake in three bites and downed his milk in one gulp before he gave Alfred and Dick kisses on their foreheads and headed off to work. Bruce always did so much, it wouldn’t be good if he really did get sick.

Alfred hummed in thought. “Sounds like a plan. I’m sure Master Bruce will enjoy it quite a lot.” 

“Alfred?” Dick turned himself slightly to lock eyes with the old man. Alfred had eyes so light they looked gray in the outside lighting. Dick reached up and smoothed at the mans gray mustache. “Why do you call Bruce that?” 

Alfred’s eyes were sad as he searched for an answer. He hated seeing his sad eyes, Dick hated seeing anyone sad. It made him feel a pain deep in his chest and want to make everything  _ right _ . But this- this was such a grownup  _ thing _ that Dick couldn’t fully grasp, could only try to wrap his head around before he could help place a smile on this old mans face. “It’s a habit, I suppose. It began as a little bit of a joke between us two when he was a child. After his parents passed and he was placed in my care, boundaries, relationships, were shaky between us. Master Bruce sees me as a father, I know he does, yet I feel inadequate compared to his own father to simply call him by his name and let him call me what he once did his father. It’s much the same feeling he has with you.” 

“I called him dad. But I felt bad. I think… when more time passes it will be easier. If we can talk about our feelings, it’ll be easy.” Dick grabbed the squash and placed it on his lap, his fingers feeling over the semi-smooth skin of it. “Bruce is kind of bad at feelings I think.” 

The old man sighed and shrugged his shoulder. “Perhaps he had gotten it from me. I should have expressed myself better to him when he was younger. Well, enough of this train of thought. Let us make some soup, yes?” He stood up, helping Dick onto his feet. The walked slowly through the garden and back towards the large manor. 

****

**2005**

These last few years of being Robin had been the best of Dick’s life. This team he was on, that he helped lead, was by far the best of it for him. He had always loved to travel and meet new people- his lifestyle with the circus was evidence of how he couldn’t quite keep to one place for too long. Of course, he loved Gotham in some odd, inexplicit way- it was the city where he had a permanent home in, a small family, friends who had no idea of his secret identity but still liked him and shared their class notes with him and bought him birthday presents- but it was satisfying to get out of the city, out of the state, and fight and hang out with a group of people his age.

Being Robin had evolved from its days of walking drunk woman home and grabbing kittens from high trees and the occasional fight against a real small time criminal. He wasn’t a kid anymore who cried at small things and clutched at his dad's shoulders. Dick did know that Bruce missed him quite a bit, though. Missed how much Dick relied on him, talked to him, like he had when he was younger. Missed how he could have picked him up with one arm if he wanted. 

But- he was fifteen. Dick wasn’t always going to rely on Bruce for every little thing anymore. 

The team had started out small- with four others who had all stood by the side of another large hero. For the first few years, it stayed this way, until, recently, they had met someone new who had quite literally dropped into their lives and joined on within minutes of their meeting her. She was- stunning. With her dark skin that contrasted beautifully with her shining, flaming red hair. Her power, her whole being, was hypnotizing. 

This- this was a first for Dick. This infatuation. 

Sure, he’s had crushes on people before. A small one on Barbara Gordon a few years back before that had fizzled out when she had cried and confessed that she was pretty sure she liked girls, another on that pretty girl in his freshman algebra class, one on that dark haired boy who went to another school and played basketball and they had met and spoke when he had played a game at Gotham Academy, a little bit of one on Roy Harper who had a nice smile and would wrap his thick, muscular sweaty arm around Dick’s shoulders after a good spar. But none of those felt anything near what he felt for Koriand’r. 

“Bruce.” Dick moaned out as he dropped his head onto the kitchen table, first thing in the morning, as they waited for Alfred to plate the food he was making. “I know this isn’t quite your thing, but, please, help me.”

Bruce’s eyes widened and glanced about the room as he tried to think of what exactly Dick could be coming to him for. “Is it… math?” Came out of his mouth awkwardly, causing Dick to laugh, throwing back his head as his shoulders shook. 

“God, no, what? I thought you’re pretty good at math? No, no, um. It’s Kory. Starfire. I, um, kind of have this huge crush on her and I, um.” Dick wiped his hand over his face. He felt warm, much warmer than he should be. He hoped that Bruce couldn’t notice he was blushing. This was embarrassing enough. Oh, damn, why didn’t he just talk to Wally or Roy about this, this would be way easier. But- Alfred had asked Dick to stop hiding away from Bruce so much, that he felt insecure, and Dick was not about to go against his grandfather's wishes. “What- what should I do?” 

His adoptive fathers face looked as though he was going through pain as he calculated what to say. By Allah- this was a mistake. Bruce was not any good at relationships. He played at being a playboy for the media and Dick had only actually met one long term (if a six month long relationship could be that) girlfriend when he was fourteen, and that was because she had overstayed her welcome at the manor. That had been awkward. She was nice enough though. And do not get Dick started about whatever Bruce had going with Selina Kyle. That was- that sure was something in its own messed up category. 

“Um, nevermind. It’s okay Bruce. I’ll- I’ll figure it out.” Dick mumbled as he glanced out the window behind Bruce’s head- looking at the large bushes with bright, large flowers. They were the same ones that were in the living room. When Dick was younger, he would help Alfred cut off a few and set up the vases about the manor. A tinge of sadness sparked in his stomach and he frowned. 

“I know I’m not the best at- feelings. But, try to talk to her. Find out where you two stand with each other.” Bruce was blushing slightly, his hand over his mouth, his elbow up on the table. “Clark- he gave me that advice. Talking will always be best.”

Dick smiled as he thought about his father going to Clark Kent for relationship advice. It made him feel a little better, that Bruce had friends who were willing to help him in situations he was uncomfortable with. Dick worried about him sometimes. “Thanks B.” They talked a little more as Alfred served them and sat down, the three of them sharing a meal, before Bruce had to leave to get to a meeting and Dick was leaving with Alfred to get dropped off at school. 

****

His breath came out in a wheeze as he fought to adjust- the hit had been hard, and sudden, and, if it weren’t for Wally and Kory, could have turned into something much worse. This was his fault, for going into a fight when he was already hurting and not in his top shape, but he didn’t want to be held back. Not after all the shit him and the Titans had gone through that led to this point. Dick glanced up at Wally, his dyed red hair faded an orange, unruly and wild from his high speeds. 

“You good Robin?” Wally asked as he held out his gloved hand. “That was some hit you took man.”

Dick only clutched at his arm and groaned in response as he stood up, his ribs screaming in retaliation. “Fuck,” Dick mumbled as he buried his head into his friends shoulder, letting himself whisper a rasp of curse words in several languages- the ones that were always the easiest to pick up when he had traveled with the circus, the ones his parents had scolded him about and his dad would drape him over his knee for to show him how serious he was that Dick was not to utter words like that. “I might have been a little over confidant.” 

Wally laughed loudly in his ear. “Man, you are literally the craziest person I’ve ever met. Glad you’re going to be okay Robin.” He wrapped Dick’s arms around his shoulders, playfully kissed at his cheek to show it was just fine to be a damsel in distress at times, and ran- when Dick opened his eyes next, they were with the rest of the team, save for Koriand’r, who was still upstairs, gathering up some of the cult members. “Look who I have here!”

A chorus of cheers from his team- his friends- made Dick grin and wave his hand as he continued to hold onto Wally. They talked about what had happened in their end of the fight, laughing and ribbing each other, as they waited for Koriand’r to finish- and for the cops to actually show up at some time. Honestly, can’t rely on those guys, but it wasn’t like they could actually, realy, arrest a whole group of people when they had no means to transfer them towards a station properly. Koriand’r showed up a few minutes before the cops came. After Dick gave them a quick rundown and handed a detective a few files, they made haste to leave. 

“Hey, Koriand’r, I never got to say thanks for that assist back there. I needed it.” Dick said as he settled in the back seat of the car- it was technically his, but Bruce had given Roy and Garth strict orders to not let him drive it until he was sixteen and had his learners permit. If Wally had the keys, he would have let Dick drive without a care, but Roy and Garth were assholes, so he was always condemned as a passenger.

Koriand’r shrugged her shoulders as she reached down to uncuff the purple fabric of her jumpsuit, the bracelets on her arms jingling together as she moved. “It was no problem Robin. We are teammates. It’s what we do.” Her flaming curly hair was bunched up into two ponytails, the one closest to Dick tickled at her bare cheek. Without much thought, Dick raised up his hand and twisted the lock of hair between his fingers. “You shouldn’t have gone out while in pain. I know you lead this team through it all, but, please, think of yourself once in a while. Do not make me saving you a habit Dick.” Her green eyes pierced into his own as she stared straight at him, her hand reaching out to place itself on his cheek. Koriand'r’s thumb caressed the skin near his lip. 

It was instinct that had him grab her wrist with the hand that had been playing with her hair, shifting her hand so it hovered over her lips. As he spoke, his lips lightly brushed her fingers. “This won’t happen again Koriand’r.” The smile she gave him was wide and happy. It was beautiful. Dick could feel as his heart beat faster, hear it in his ears. He pressed his lips against her palm before he held it in his lap.

 

The ringing in his ears was insistent. Dick closed his eyes as he replayed the entire night in his head, from the moment he had put on his Robin suit as he joked with Bruce- they had been happy, it had been a while since it was just the two of them heading out together, especially since Batgirl was making waves in her surprise appearances and the strides they were making with their individual teams. Dick had gotten him to actually laugh. It had been a while, it had made his heart skip and his blood hum, excited like he was a nine year old trying to win favor with his new father all over again. 

He had missed Bruce. 

Then, of course, things had to go to shit and end the night with yelling, from both of them, in the cave as Alfred stood to the side, looking torn between the two of them as he attempted to try and calm them both down. Dick knew this was just a beginning. He was holding so much in, he was so tired. So- so- done. Maybe forming a team, being a leader, hadn't been a good call for him. It was causing this strain, forming these thoughts of not quite wanting to keep at how things were. Or maybe this was just a teenage rebellion phase- not wanting to follow his father's orders and to do as he pleased.

Dick didn’t know. 

He pressed his hands over his ringing ears as tears gathered in his eyes, flowing freely down his face. He didn’t want to fight with Bruce again, he didn’t. He didn’t want to talk to him or Alfred. He just wanted to- to be with his friends. To press kisses on Koriand’r’s warm hands. To throw his arms around Wally’s shoulders and whisper dumb song lyrics in his ear. To dance around on a bed with Donna as they talked late into the night about everything and nothing, their laughs mixing together. 

He wanted to be his own person. 

It was tiring, being this Boy Wonder, who had to listen to Batman and stick to these bright colors that told everyone- this is a child, a kid, who will never grow up, who will always be by Batman’s side and say goofy shit and grin and be this kid that he just couldn’t be all the time. 

“What am I doing?” He whispered to himself. Dick took a breath in. He needed to calm down, he needed to just take some time and figure all his shit out. He needed to think it all out. He needed to stop whatever kind of panic attack he was giving himself. His ears continued to ring throughout the night.

****

**2008**

The dirt was cold beneath his bare feet. He could hear loud music coming from the manor even from out here in the garden. Dick knew he was supposed to be trying to bond with Jason- the kid Bruce had picked up about a year ago to be his replacement after Dick had decided to move on from being Robin and picked out a new name and outfit. He wanted to, despite the bitter feelings that bubbled in his stomach and chest whenever he saw or thought about the kid wearing  _ his _ suit and going by  _ his _ name (Bruce had no right to use Robin, that wasn’t his nickname to throw around to any little orphaned kid he wanted to pick up). 

Dick wanted to get along with Jason. He was a good kid- he liked school (much more than Dick ever did. Sure he did well enough, but he would much rather do something physical and  _ fun _ . He had contemplated not going to school for quite a while, but had settled for trying to get into the nursing program and do something along those lines), liked to wear that ugly Gotham Academy school uniform, he liked to read the books from the library in the manor that Dick had barely ever gone through unless it had something he needed to read for school, he was even in some school play. 

It felt like he was more of a kid than Dick ever was. 

Roy said that it was his own fault if he ever felt like this- that he was the one who isolated himself to the hero world only. That he might have fooled himself for a while, but he was obsessed with being a hero. He had pointed out how Dick never saw a future where he wasn’t wearing a mask. Dick hated when Roy had reasonable arguments like that. 

Dick crouched down to look closer at the plants- tomatoes. Little green tomatoes were beginning to grow, little balls that made the plant droop over with their weight. He watched as a bug crawled up its stem. 

“I thought you were with Alfred and Jason.” Bruce’s voice shocked Dick, but he didn’t jump, merely glanced up to see his father’s legs. He was wearing fuzzy blue pajama pants with the Gotham Knights logo on them. He had seen on a flimsy paper magazine in a Rite Aid that Bruce had gone to a game with his ‘new orphan son who may or may not be his secret love child.’ “Jay’s been excited for your visit. Brought out his good Wonder Woman shirt out and everything.” 

“Yeah. It was nice.” Dick mumbled against his knees. He was a horrible person. A horrible  _ brother _ . He thought about the shirt Jason was wearing when he had arrived- it was a button up with little golden W’s lining in and a pocket with a lasso embroidered on it. He had complimented it when he saw it and Jason had lit up for a few minutes before an awkwardness settled back in between them. “I’m sorry I’m shit at this. I like him. He’s cool. Smart. Maybe I should have asked Kory to come.” 

Koriand’r liked Jason quite a bit. They had only met a few times, when Bruce was out with the League and had dumped him with the Titans so he could get some training in. He got along alright with the Titans, but there was this air of everyone feeling forced. It was something that hadn't been there before- they were a group made up of big time heroes sidekicks, some would think that them being friends had been forced, but they had naturally fell in place together. Pushing Jason on them didn’t fit. 

Most of the time Jason left days early, claiming he had homework or needed to practice lines and Alfred was the best at helping him and no one ever fought him on it. They let him go. Dick should have never let him leave so easily. He should have tried. He should be trying instead of being here, hiding in the garden. 

Dick stood up with a sigh. “I’m mad at you Bruce. I know you know this already, but B, I cannot get over you picking up another kid and giving him my name. The name my _ mom _ gave to me. I understand that- that Robin might not solely be about me anymore, once people gained notice of him, it was public, but, still. Still B. It hurt like shit to see Jason wearing my ‘R’ and going by my name. So I was a prick and went and took it off on the kid when all he wants is a family, which wasn’t fair in anyway.” As he spoke, he stood tall, his hands resting on his hips, looking right at his father, who stared right back at him. 

Together, they made their way back towards the manor, into the kitchen where Alfred was calmly making pigs in a blanket with Jason’s help as they listened to the loud music. Jason was laughing at something, his grin wide and happy, the cross earring he wore in his right ear swinging as he moved his head about. His smile flattened a bit as he laid eyes on Dick. It made Dick feel like his namesake. 

“Hey, Alfred, you mind if I steal Jay for a few hours? This this sick new bookstore that I went to with Babs that I think Jason will like to check out. If he wants to of course.” Dick gave the kid a smile, watching as he brightened right back up, giving Alfred a wide eyed pleading look. Alfred gave a small smile that had both Dick and Jason whooping in excitement before he had the chance to open his mouth and actually give permission. 

****

The apartment he shared with Koriand’r was a small place, but they put up with it. Though Bruce had offered to help Dick pay for places back when he had been looking, Dick had refused, not wanting to rely too heavily on his father for everything. So, Dick’s part time job working at the Bludhaven Community College library and Kory’s job at a local salon helped pay the bills for the place. It was nice, having this domestic, real life on top of their hero lifestyle. There was something nice about visiting Kory at the salon and talking to her clients as she dyed their hair or did intricate box braids that kept Dick mesmerized as he watched. He felt so- normal. 

As they lay together in bed, the yellow light of the streetlamp outside illuminating their bedroom, the fire-like quality to Kory’s hair casting a red glow to their near bare bodies. Dick pressed a kiss to her shoulder, relishing in her natural warmth, as his fingers played with the thin pink lace strap of her bra. 

“I’m so glad to have met you Kory,” Dick whispered into her hair. 

Her voice sounded a little wet as she answered, “Oh, Dick, I have no clue where I would be if I never met you.” Her arms wrapped a little tighter around him and he settled closer to her, his head resting underneath hers, trying to find a comfortable position before sleep took them away for the night. He was distantly aware of how his back ached ever so slightly, but Kory’s warm hands helped ease the pain. 

When he woke up in the morning, it was to see Koriand’r already up and getting ready for her day, wearing a bright pink romper, her hands working on pulling her long hair back into a ponytail. When she saw Dick sit up, Kory grinned at him. “Good morning sleepy head.”

“Morning babe.” Dick yawned out as he scratched at his bare chest, his mind lagging slightly as he struggled to wake up. “Want some help tying it up?” He gestured towards his head, making a small bouncing motion in reference of her own large amount of hair. It was fun to help Koriand’r with her hair, he had began to learn a few things with the time he spent at the salon, too, which was nice to know. Sometimes, he would lay awake at night, playing with her curly hair as he wondered if their children would have hair like hers. 

Roy called him out whenever he began to get sappy and starry-eyed, talking about the future he wanted to have with Koriand’r. “Dick, c’mon man, you’re eighteen. Do you seriously think your first girlfriend is going to be it for you?” He would say in that asshole way of his that made Dick a little pissed off, but he would only laugh it off and say some bullshit about destiny that he didn’t believe, because destiny wasn’t true- life moved the way it moved because of people's choices. He hoped Kory would choose to stay with him, to stick out these next few years as he finished school, got a better job to get them a better home, to buy a pretty ring worthy of being on her hand. 

Koriand’r sat on the edge of the bed, her back turned towards him. “I’ve been thinking of cutting it,” she said as he ran his hands through her hair. It was as warm as it looked. If they weren’t careful, her hair could burn his hands. “It’d be a little more manageable then.”

Dick clucked his tongue. “I love it like this.” He kissed at the back of her neck, the short hairs there tickling at her nose. He would have stayed there all day, teasingly kissing at her smooth neck, but after a few minutes Kory laughed and reminded him that she had work and he needed to study for a test. With a reluctant sigh, Dick went back to helping her with her hair as they talked about how they should meet up with their friends sometime and how they were worried about Roy, who was beginning to become more and more reclusive and angry and  _ off _ . It worried Dick to no end, but they weren’t spending as much time together like they used to, so it was difficult to settle down and try to get a conversation going on if his friend was doing alright.

“I’m sure everything will be fine. It always is.” Koriand’r said as she stood up, her hair now up in a high ponytail, her hair swinging about. She pressed a long kiss to the tip of his nose and ran a ran through his own long hair. 

****

The weather in Bludhaven was slightly better than Gotham- the sun would find the time to come out and grace the city- though there was still a problem with smog, which always clung in the air. It was funny, sometimes Dick forgot about how shitty the air was until he left the city, the state, and breathed in and realized- this is how air should taste, this is how breathing should feel like. Bludhaven was still slightly better than Gotham, though. 

Dick let the sun above soak into him as he lay on the grass, his backpack under his head, the leaves of the magnolia tree above him giving him minimal shade. The college campus was relatively calm, there was very few events that caused a flurry of movements and made campus seem loud with a large group of students laughing and talking as Black Eyed Peas played in speakers that crackled with static. Most days were quiet as this- only the sound of the outside traffic and the wind could be heard. 

Dick closed his eyes and breathed in the bad air of Bludhaven. It was a shock he never developed asthma. His silent thoughts were interrupted as a group of people strolled past him, talking loudly about the Justice League. Dick opened an eye and glanced over at them- one had a Superman backpack, blue with the El family crest, the famous ‘S,’ the symbol of hope, as the design on it. He had asked Clark about it- how he felt about people wearing his family crest. 

“It’s bigger than family now. Bigger than myself.” He had replied, a far look in his blue eyes, the wind had picked up that curl that fell over his forehead. Dick had hummed back as he weighed the answer in his mind. It was later that day he has asked about the name of an old Kryptonian vigilante, whether it would be disrespectful or not for him to use that name for himself. Clark had grinned widely- Dick knew that Clark saw him as possibly the only person he could pass down his alien heritage to- and enthusiastically agreed to it.

Now- now the students settled close to Dick as they argued, sitting on the grass, enjoying the nice day. He listened as they spoke about heroes- people- who seemed so far away and disconnected from who they were. It was refreshing; it was tiring.

****

**2016**

When Dick was a kid, still reeling over the fact his parents were dead and that the man who had taken him in was the Batman- the man who dressed in the coolest outfit he had ever seen and had an air mystery about him that other heroes like Superman and Wonder Woman- and had let him become a hero himself, he had wanted to become Batman as well. Batman was- he was this unreal, unpowered man who did everything these powered people were able to do and Dick found him to be amazing. 

As he grew older, the novelty wore off. Batman was just Bruce Wayne, his grumpy adoptive father who pretended he was an airheaded nice guy towards the media. Then Dick realized- his father was mentally ill and obsessed and maybe it was all centered around Batman and would he turn that way if he continued on the path he was setting up for himself? The more years that passed, the more he did not want to become the man in the suit, who knew it all and could do it all. It would be too much. 

Of course- 

Of course Bruce would go and die on him and leave the small dredges of the Bat. He hated to be so angry at him, when he was gone and didn’t quite do anything except get himself killed, but here Dick was, angry as hell for it. He had no other choice though, not really. His friends said there was always a choice, but not for this, not when it came to Batman and Gotham. 

For starters, there was Damian, who was convinced he could become Batman because of his years of forced training and naivety. Then there was the fact that all hell broke loose when everyone realized the Bat was gone for good, that his months absence was not because he was off-world with the League or on the mend after a particularly bad fight. Everything was falling apart so Dick stepped up. Now here he was, a little more than a year later, wearing the suit as Damian pouted at his side with his little hood covering his head. 

“There’s school tomorrow. Just count yourself lucky I let you come out at all Damian.” Dick sighed out as he watched his little brother jutt out his lower lip and act in a way he would call irrational if it was anyone else. This kid, honestly, was the biggest pain in Dick’s butt. He had thought he knew how to deal with troubled kids, but Damian was a whole other league than Raven ever was. Dick heaved a sigh and crouched down next to his little brother. “Hey, one more, then we’re going back home, alright?”

Damian gave him that adorable little grin of his- his little dimple on his right cheek showing and his hazel eyes shining happily. It was a sight becoming much less rare than it had been when Damian first came to live in Gotham. He would grin at his pets whenever they did something unbearably cute, even he had to admit it, and he would grin up at Alfred when he made the special vegan cookies he loved, and he would grin up at Dick whenever he dragged him along on some missions- which ranged from catching a particularly slippery criminal or even to find the exact grocery item Alfred had asked for by brand and quantity. It was cute. He was a cute kid. 

“C’mon Robin, let’s see what we can find.” Dick held out his hand, which Damian quickly grabbed and stood up, causing them both to temporarily lose their balance. Dick laughed (and, that had been something fun, laughing while in being Batman. He had once lost it when a criminal had said a joke and began laughing right in his face, which caused the guy to piss his pants. It was gross, but apparently effective when it came from the Bat and not a little kid dressed in glorified circus attire) and began to run across the roof, in search for someone to help or fight. 

When Dick spotted the her - a pretty young woman with voluminous dyed white hair with blue highlights whose sequence dress shined like a beacon, as her bare feet tripped over themselves as her skinny high heels swung in her grasp- he nudged his brother and pointed towards her. For a second, Dick expected Damian to spout out something loud and rude in complaint, but he only nodded his head, a determined look on his face, before he swung down to land near her. The woman startled when she noticed Damian, but promptly let him walk next to her, talking to him as she sputtered out in a sobbing voice just how happy she was to see him.

“My asshole friends left- left me and took my phone and- and! I’m so glad to- to see you Robin!” She cried out as she wrapped her pale arms around Damian’s neck. Dick grinned as he walked along the roof, following them along as they made a slow trek towards the woman’s home. Dick remembered being his age, walking women like her home after a long night, making them laugh and letting them depart from him with a whispered word of wisdom or a kiss on the top of his head as a thank you. Damian was rough around the edges, he would always be so, that’s just how he was, but this woman seemed to relish in the peace this sturdy little Robin brought with him. 

Robin really was bigger than Dick ever thought he would be. He had even heard rumors about kids who were dressing up in their very own Robin clothes and helping out wherever they could. It was- it was staggering, how the mantle, the title of Robin had grown in nearly twenty years. Bruce had been right- he always was in some way. 

When the white haired woman made her way into her apartment, she gave Damian a fist bump and waved her hand towards him as she made her way inside the doors. Damian stared after her for a second, which gave Dick time to slide down next to him. His little brother blinked up at him and said, “I’m glad nothing happened to her. She is a very kind woman.”

“Yeah. Me too.” Dick wrapped his arm around his shoulders- he was still small, but had been beginning to grow taller in the past year, he was close to reaching up to Dick’s shoulder. He wondered if he would be broad shouldered like Bruce, or more slender like his mother. Time would tell. “Ready to go home?” His brother silently nodded his head as they made their way back towards home. 

****

Tears streamed down his face as a sob broke through his throat. He wrapped his arms tighter around his father's shoulders as he sobbed, loud and ugly and snotty, in his ear. He moved him mouth to speak, but words failed him and he only sobbed harder. 

He had missed him. He had missed Bruce so, so much. The fact that he was here- alive and well and breathing and- caused him to be overwhelmed with joy. Next to him, Cassandra was hugging their father just as tight, her sobs mixing in with his own. Bruce’s large hand placed down on his head, on the back of his neck, gripping as he kissed the top of Dick’s head. “I missed you! We missed you!” Dick was finally able to speak, his voice wet and ugly and not sounding like him whatsoever, but it was there. 

This hurt more than it had when he learned about Jason. Jason had been angry and would take any moment to start a fight. He never let there be a moment where they allowed themselves to be a family because he didn’t believe he had a family anymore. This hurt because he was being allowed to actually feel what he wanted to feel. 

“I know, I know you did.” Bruce’s voice was raspy, full of emotion, which caused Dick to sob again. He pulled back and stared up at his father. His eyes were rimmed red, his eyelashes wet, his lower lip trembling just slightly. Dick had only ever seen his father cry once before, when he was much, much younger, and seeing him affected this way now had his crying like he had when he first saw Bruce cry. “You did so- you did so great Dickey. I’m so, so proud of you.”

Dick wrapped his arms around Cass, who was still trembling so hard that her arms shook and she had given up trying to sign anything towards Bruce. She simply stared up at him with devotion in her eyes, saying all she needed to with them, everything Bruce already knew and more. Tears stained her pale face. “Dad,” was all Dick was able to get out before Bruce gathered them both in a fierce hug. 

All he could think was- 

He’s alive. He’s alive, he’s alive, he’s alive. Dick didn’t lose another parent. He didn’t. Bruce was still alive and breathing and crying and being.

****

During the year that they were lead to believe Bruce was dead, Dick had been living with Alfred and Damian in Gotham while Kory had been living fulltime with her Titans team. The distance had been hard- Dick was often too busy being the Bat and working at the hospital and Kory spent a lot of her time keeping her team together and helping them train. It had been painful, not seeing her every single day, laying in the same bed after a long day, getting to wrap her curls around her fingers as they kissed and talked. 

It had been a hard year, but necessary for them. Now, with Bruce back, and with Koriand’r feeling secure that Raven felt skilled enough to properly lead the Titans, they began to settle back to the life they had together before everything had gone to shit. Sure, they had seen each other whenever they could and during massive, near world ending battles, but it wasn’t the same as living together. It had been odd, not living with each other- they had been living together for about seven years before they had spoke about temporarily going their separate ways as Koriand’r went to help Rachel and Dick became Batman as Cassandra readied herself to take over. His little sister had been close to going out for the first time in the suit when Bruce had showed face again. 

“I stayed for longer than I anticipated.” Kory said as she placed the large, heavy boxes she was carrying onto their apartments wooden floor. She sighed and placed her chin on top of Dick’s head, her hands raising up to play with his hair. “Teams are complicated. I always forget that. Ours never seemed to be as hard.”

Dick remembered the fights they would have with each other and the individual mental breakdowns, but decided it was best not to mention it all right now as he was relishing in his fiance's warmth. God- he loved that. Fiance. Them- together, forever, to be married. He kissed at her exposed collar bone. “Rachel’s doing good though now, right?”

“Rachel is doing fantastic!” Koriand’r beamed happily, her green eyes shining bright. She looked like a star. “I think her and Gar may be developing a bit of a romantic relationship. It’s sweet. Especially considering how she’s been in love with him all these years.” She gave the same dreamy sigh she would have whenever they watched Chris Pine in a romantic comedy- which was, honestly, the same sigh he would give whenever he saw Pine in a romantic comedy.

He remembered when Rachel had first joined the Teen Titans- with her jagged haircut and the dark hood she always kept over her head- and how she would warm up whenever Garfield would cuddle up next to her- in his true form or some various animal- reading whatever book she had out loud to him. They had always been adorable. “That’s awesome. They deserve each other after everything that’s happened to them.”

Kory hummed in agreement. They reluctantly pulled away from each other as they began to go about unpacking their boxes, giggling about the contents they had inside them and attempting to figure out which cabinet would be best for their plates. They continued to talk about their friends- Victor was now an official member of the Justice League; Roy’s daughter Lian had officially learned how to write out the alphabet; Donna was having an upcoming showing in a gallery that she had invited them to visit. It was nice to be back in their familiar motions. 

It was nice to be  _ himself _ again. 

****

**2018**

Dick leaned against the wall as he laughed at a story his coworker Mayra was telling about one of the kids who had arrived on his day off and decided it was the best time to go batshit crazy on his mom. It was one of those stories that was hilarious in retrospect, but actual hell to deal with at the time. Crumbs from the granola bar he was snacking on fall onto his hands and the front of his bright blue scrubs. His shoulder burned slightly- still in pain from a dislocation he received a week back. He paid the pain no mind as he nodded along to what another coworker of his was saying. 

He liked the clinic much better than he had the hospital- sure, he enjoyed the kids, but the large building with the more-often-than-not plain, sterile environment set him on edge. The clinic felt better to him- the walls were brightly painted, inviting, with murals of animals and one wall of the rooms they met patients in had a superhero theme. It was a bright spot compared to his night job. Plus, it was located a little off of Crime Alley, so he was able to keep track of people- criminals and civilians he was worried about.

“How’s your wife doing Evie?” Dick asked as he throw away the granola wrapper. Evie’s wife Nisha had finally gotten pregnant a few months back, around the same time Kory had as well, so it became a bit of a habit for them to ask each other how their wives were doing and gushing about how excited they were and bouncing name ideas off each other. 

Evie pulled a face- her tongue sticking out, her nose scrunched up- as she clipped her short curly hair out of her eyes. “I knew about cravings and moodiness, of course I knew, but  _ gosh _ ! It sucks when you hafta deal with it. She’s just so uncomfortable. I feel bad. How about Kory? How’s she doing?”

The first few months were brutal- Koriand’r had thrown up  _ fire _ , which, apparently, was normal for Tamarians, but had Dick overly concerned. Having a child wasn’t planned, they had not even known if it was possible- but apparently mixed alien species can be born, seeing as how Clark and Lois had a biological son last year that Kon and Chris liked to fawn over. Even Damian liked the little baby, opting on visiting their uncle whenever Bruce would let him. It was cute. He surprisingly liked kids quite a lot. A stray thought of  _ what if he adopts a whole collection of children one day _ came into his mind, but he quickly shoved it away- that was a worry for way in the future.

“Pretty good! She’s getting out of her feeling sick stage. Not much cravings. She does get pretty tired though, being on her feet all day at the salon.” Dick shook his head, thinking about the nights he has spent massaging her feet and sneaking kisses to her muscular thighs as he done so. “My dad’s pretty excited. Have I told you he’s actually making a honest to god nursery in his house? He’s never had a baby of his own since he’s adopted us all when we were older, so him and my grandfather are ecstatic to finally have a little one around.” The grin Bruce had gave when he had told him the news was brillant- a real, true version of the smile he gave the media; the smile he would give Dick when he was a kid, bouncing off the walls and making puns whenever he could to help defuse a situation. 

“That’s so sweet!” Evie cooed out with a large grin as they made their way out of the breakroom and towards the front. “You’re dad seems like such a nice man! Every time you mention him and your grandpa, it’s something really sweet. God, I wish my parents were as supportive and kind as yours.”

Dick grinned as he grabbed at a file for a waiting patient- a five year old girl named Aaliyah who needed to get some shots done- which he used to lightly tap the top of Evie’s hair as he walked past her. He was lucky to have Bruce. Sure, throughout the years he’s been angry at him for things out of his control, but Bruce had done his best to take care of a traumatized kid. He’d given him every chance to grow and find himself as a person, to do with his life as he pleased. He taught him how to be a kind person- to try and be better than Bruce was. He’d have to hug his dad the next time he saw him.

****

He rested his head against his knees as he watched the dirt hover above in the air, slowly settling down to where it should be. The little girl next to him continued to clutch as tight as she could at his ankle, searching for one source of comfort, of knowledge that someone else was here. Dick reached out a hand- it was bare and dirty, the fabric of his suit long ago ripped from the long battle- and set it on top of her head, slowly untangling the wild mess her thin curls had made. Her face was filled with dust, covering up the lines her streams of tears had created on her cheeks. 

From a distance, Dick could hear as his teammates, his friends, his family, the League, people he knew but had never quite spoke to outside of a shout to watch their back every now and then in situations such as these, began to stand up from where they had collapsed from the sheer happiness- the familiar thrill- of a battle being over. They were getting busy- starting up vehicles and searching for anyone who had not been able to evacuate- but there was not many people left here, most had left hours before in the very beginning of it all. 

_ You okay baby? Nothing hurts?  _ Dick signed out, receiving a small shake of her head along with her little hand signing  _ no _ . She shuffled closer to Dick, close enough that Dick sat with his legs crossed and let her crawl onto his lap. She had been with him for hours now- days, maybe, it was such a blur of events that he wasn’t even sure how much time had passed. 

He had asked for her name, but she hadn't given it and he had not pushed for it, knowing how heartwrenching this moment was for her young soul. Dick held her close to his chest as she began to sob, her little fingers clutching at his shoulders. 

Despite knowing the words would fall onto deaf ears, Dick murmured out reassurances to this little girl- it will be okay, it’s okay sweetie, baby don’t cry, it will be okay, I have you, I have you, I have you. He held her until her sobs grew too much and he was crying as well and she had tired herself out enough to fall asleep. Dick stood up, walking towards where he could hear others. 

****

It was a little inevitable- a month before his and Kory’s daughter was born, they found themselves adopting Seraphiel Garcia. She was quick to adjusting to her new life- children were so hardy in that way- though had bouts of tantrums that no one could fault her for (how exactly did a four year old child who was not in complete control and in understanding of their emotions supposed to deal with intense trauma?) and would sleep in the middle of Kory and Dick’s bed with her little red blanket they had bought for her that she had attached herself to nearly immediately and took about everywhere. 

Bruce was fond of Sera, taking any chance he could to help take care of and spoil her. His phone was already filled with videos and pictures of her that he would show to his coworkers whenever he could and Dick had heard from Tim that he had put up one of her drawings of what was supposed to be Bruce and Titus in his work office. Alfred would sneak her cookies and had enlisted her to help him and Damian in picking vegetables from the garden, which she loved to do. She had named a little squash as her best friend and had held it in her arms for a whole day before Alfred had gotten her to agree to let him cook it into delicious food.  

When Mar’i was born- already with a tuft of thick black hair on her head and glowing green eyes that matched her mother's- Sera had looked at her with a face of pure awe, asking if she could hold her little sister. Dick had crouched in front of her, taking pictures, as Sera carefully held the baby in her arms. 

_ Mar’i is cute _ , Sera signed as Koriand’r took the baby back in her arms after she pressed a kiss to both their daughters foreheads, her hair brushing against Sera’s cheek, causing her to giggle, her cheeks red as she continued to laugh, tears streaming down her face. Without a word, Dick swooped her up into his arms and took her out to get some air. 

The wind blew their hair back. The scent of tacos from a nearby vendor made Dick’s mouth water- he’d have to pick some up after this. The sky above was a bright blue, with white clouds moving slowly through the sky. They settled down on a bench, watching as cars drove past and people walked by with their dogs on leashes. 

He placed his hand on Sera’s shoulder, gaining her attention away from a woman strolling past with a large poodle. He spoke aloud as he signed, “I love you Sera. We both do baby. So do not worry. You will have a place on our bed and our hearts forever, as long as you will have us. I promise you Seraphiel.” He held out his hand. After a moment, Sera placed her own on top of his- her hand was small, smaller than his palm. He was in constant awe of this little girl and he knew he would be of Mar’i as well. 

He had no clue what his future would hold from this point forward- he had more than a handful of siblings at this point who made his life feel crazier by the second, he was a nurse as well as a vigilante, his wife was an alien refugee, one of his best friends was a speedster who could travel through time, and he now had two young daughters who had so much ahead of them. Never in his life had he thought being Robin would lead to this. 

Dick laid a gentle kiss on the top of Sera’s head. The purple butterfly hair clip she had stuck into her hair earlier in the day poked at his cheek, but he paid it no mind, enjoying this quiet moment with his daughter. In the distance, he could hear laughter. 

****

There was a second, where he considered never shrugging on that dark blue and black suit ever again, to simply be Dick Grayson, devoted husband and father who did charity work whenever he could and worked as a pediatric nurse that would sometimes, in his spare time, help patch up the kids in Crime Alley who were doing all they could to find a way to  _ live _ . But he’s see those kids, see the world as it still was, and he knew he would continue to slip out late a night, at least for a little while, to arrive back by the time Mar’i was fussing for some milk or to get her soiled diaper changed. 

“Is it worth it?” Wally had asked one day as he watched Sera stack up wooden blocks. There was a sort of longing on his face that Dick recognized from many of his friends faces. They were getting older, having dreams and wants they never thought of as teenagers when they first met one another.  

Dick glanced down at Mar’i, who he had been bouncing on his knee, which made her giggle and babble. He gave his friend a genuine smile as he nodded his head, “All of it is.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Hope this was good?? I always loose myself with endings, but it felt sweet so I hope you all liked this <3
> 
> Please leave a comment, a kudos, check out my other fics if you'd like <3


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